Drudgery March 3, 2010

Guest Blogger Jack O'Brien offering random weird thoughts stimulated by an intravenous connection to The Drudge Report.

And now the news-

University of Tennessee at Knoxville Chancellor Jimmy “Chubby” Cheek has announced that Al Gore will receive an honorary doctorate from the university at May’s convocation. Cheek was ecstatic to hear that Gore had accepted.

“Whee doggies!” exclaimed Cheek. “Ain’t every local boy wins that there No-belt prize.  Hell, I been pinchin’ Copenhagen fer nigh on twenty years now and I ain’t never even seen the entry form.”

Later, Cheek was eager to reveal Gore’s sheepskin and gown to the press. Upon viewing the gown, observers were quick to note how unusual among educational institutions it was to see an all white gown. Chancellor Cheek was asked if the Doctorate comes with a hooding ceremony.

“Hell, yes! This is Tennessee, boy. Y’all don’t take the hood off until the festivities is done. Dat keeps the participants eponymous. Specially dem who is celebrities and wants to remain eponymous, like when Billy Carter come up to visit.” concluded Cheek.

Commencement is set for May 14.

In a related note, Las Vegas oddsmakers are winding down the wagering on weather events related to Climate Change hearings, noting that there was an unusually high incidence of highway clogging snowfall this winter whenever and wherever Democrats would schedule Global Warming convocations. Some meteorologists have commented that it looks like nature is trying to shut down the “Warmers.”

Curiously, Vegas oddsmakers report there has been $3 million wagered on the chance of an F-5 tornado in Knoxville, Tennessee on May 14. Even odds.


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Cheryl Prater

Managing Director

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The views expressed on this site are solely mine and do not necessarily reflect those of my clients. Please don't hold them responsible. Momma tried.
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